THE TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGIN’ – And So Can You

Ours is a discouraging world. Our nation is somewhat divided in its beliefs today and many people are divided in beliefs, too, often angry at others with different views. Tolerance and diplomacy seem to be lost arts in our political arena, and kindness and thoughtfulness seem to have flown the coop in our day to day social and work relations in many ways. In America we are seeing more health care problems, educational problems, increased crime, more corruption in business, less loyalty among employers and employees, a rising cost of living without a similar increase in the wages. Shootings, murders, and rampant crime are more often in our news forecasts as well as destructive fires, floods, tornadoes, earthquakes and other natural disasters which used to be rarer in our world. All of these concerns can be discouraging, depressing, and disheartening to read about and see every day.

My youth and childhood were spent in America’s fifties, sixties, and seventies, and I raised my children in the seventies, eighties, and nineties. The problems in all those years, some worse as my children hit their teen and college years, seem small in comparison to problems we see today. The old Bob Dylan song of the turbulent sixties “The Times They Are A-Changin’” and its words seem truer and more relevant than ever. What can we do now to stay positive, keep from being discouraged, and not disheartened? How can we live effectively in this world situation, finding ways amid all the problems to be our best selves and to help others to live well? How can we make a difference in what seems like such a dark time with so many problems all around us?

One of the things I feel most saddened about is how the negativism and discord of our times is affecting our children. Kids shouldn’t know the deep, harsh burdens of life too soon, but today’s children are being bombarded with them. Hate, nihilism, and apathy are growing, often leaving children and teens feeling un-empowered and hopeless about their lives and their future. A certain innocence is lost when children know and experience too much harshness and reality at a young age. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised to see depression and suicide rates rising in children, along with obesity, drug abuse, and illnesses we never saw in past societies. Media, in particular, has overly exposed young children to sorrow, too much sexual knowledge, to perversions and horrors they didn’t need to see or learn of yet. Media has also kept them indoors too much, their eyes locked on phones and devices, not happily playing out of doors, laughing, running, jumping rope, riding bikes, and creating happy, imaginative games.

Many children are being forced to grow up quicker than in past, often forced to stay home alone and take care of siblings while their parents work, and allowed unmonitored access to media, unhealthy eating, and too little outdoor exercise and needed wholesome social interactions. As statistics reveal, our pace of today is taking its toll on our children. I think every generation feels misunderstood, marginalized, and disenfranchised because they are young but this time, we all know, is deeper and darker than times we grew up in. Teens look up their favorite celebrities and idols and see them partying, drinking, vulgar in actions and dress, and are drawn to emulate those idols and mimic their actions. Good role models are often harder to find in media today and children and young people are very impressionable. An immaturity, irresponsibility, and selfishness are being bred in our youth. Statistics show children are showing a lack of motivation, unrealistically pressured by forces all around them.

So, what’s the answer when we live in a troubled world, with troubled lives, and troubled kids? The answer is that we still need to be the best we can be individually, an exemplar and example. We don’t have to yield to the trouble and the darkness all around. We can be like a lighthouse shining in a dark stormy night. We can shine and keep shining out, to give others hope, to help others find their way, to be an encourager.  In fact, we are needed more to shine now in these dark times than when everything is light and good. It is not the time to hide ourselves away, fearful and timid, hunched over our own devices, living life vicariously glued to television and computer screens, seldom interacting with others except in our small circles of friends and family, drifting away from wholesome social ties with neighbors, friends, church, and community.

Keep in mind Mahatma Gandhi’s wise words: “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” In a world full of problems, become one of the solutions. In a world full of poor examples, be an example for good. You can still make a difference in your world … in yourself and in your relationships with others.

Back to school time is a good time to think about your life. Where are you going? Are you growing and changing for the better every day, ever learning? Look at yourself in the mirror. Do you look like how you want to look? How does your soul feel? Is your heart happy? Are you giving to the world in a way that makes a difference? You have one life, one precious life to live. Don’t waste time looking back on what you have lost. Life is not meant to be travelled backwards. The life you have now, today, is the reality. You may not be able to control the direction of the wind or many things about the world, but you can adjust your sails and control your own life amidst the storm. You have so much more power and choice than you know. Eleanor Roosevelt wrote: “In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die.” Make yourself and your life beautiful.

Never give up on yourself and decide to simply “settle” with whatever life is dishing out to you. Don’t simply drift along with the norm and negativity of the day. Determine to rise to your best and be your best self no matter what is going on in the world around you. If you don’t decide on a direction and course and row your own boat with purpose, you will just drift down the stream of life, tossed by every rapid in the way, caught in every stagnant pool, taken at will to places you never wanted to go. Studies suggest only 8% of people reach their goals in life. It’s also estimated that only 3% of people set any goals and only 1% write them down. That’s tragic, considering the opportunities we all have in America, even with its problems. That means most people are just drifting through life, going where the stream of life takes them.

No wonder people are unfulfilled and unhappy, unactualized as Maslow’s findings uncovered, never realizing their own full potential. Our journey is meant to be more productive and fulfilling than that. We are meant to see vision and purpose for our lives and set out to achieve it. Often we achieve in bits and pieces, achieving one goal, then setting another higher goal, accomplishing one small dream, and then reaching for a higher one. Seeing ourselves succeed in small ways builds courage in us to reach for higher goals. People often say, “Oh, I just want the simple life.” A simple life doesn’t mean an unfulfilled, do-nothing life, a sit back and watch the world drift by life. That’s not successful living. It’s a cop out. It’s one of the lies we tell ourselves when we cease to strive, cease to try and give our best to life.

A man once told me at a book signing, with great pride, that he hadn’t read a book since high school, as though he should be given the Red Badge of Courage for not continuing to be a lifelong learner as we’re all intended to be. A lot of people envision the ultimate life for themselves as a “do nothing” life. A friend of ours was thrilled when he got on disability because that meant he would never have to work again or contribute to society, never have to do anything but pursue his own pleasures. Where do we learn these selfish desires, that we should sit back and drift through life with no goals or purpose? How do you know what God would have had for you to do and accomplish in this world? We are meant to use the talents, gifts, and skills we’ve been given.

Your own life and your own health are your responsibilities to take care of, to use wisely and well. People live so unhealthy today. They eat poorly, eat the wrong things, and do not get enough exercise and good outdoor activity and sunshine. They sit too much and grow weak in body and often greatly overweight. Excess overweight on your body negatively impacts the health of your hips, knees, ankles and feet. It crowds your organs, slows down your life and strength, keeps you from accomplishing and doing all you want to do. Carrying twenty-five pounds of excess weight daily is like hauling around five sacks of flour or a two-year-old child on your back all the time. While you carry that weight, or more, you have a higher risk for health problems and when that weight packs up to fifty pounds or more, you become a hiring risk for most any job you might want to do, with that weight damaging your good looks and appeal to others. It’s a way many people sabotage their chances for a rich, productive life today. They just don’t have the energy for it after hauling around that extra weight all day.

To be a light and beacon in the world today, you need to look like one. A beautiful lighthouse distorted in appearance or covered in graffiti is not attractive. Neither are you. If you have decided your appearance, how you look, what your weigh, how you dress, doesn’t have anything to do with your success in life you are living under a false illusion. Your attitude matters, too, and your manners. When I taught psychology courses in college, my students used to get upset at the idea that the jobs open to them, or their likelihood of getting certain jobs or being promoted in them, was directly linked not only to their education and experience but to their appearance and attitude. Somewhere along the way they had developed the concept that they should only be judged by what they were within. That may sound like a sweet ideal but it isn’t the way the world works. In all works you do, you have to deal with the public. Isn’t it simply good, practical sense to assume the public persona you develop and present should be attractive and appealing? That you should look good, dress nice, act nice, and make people glad they crossed your path?

Frankly, in most every job you’re in, and especially if you rise to a leadership position in any job or endeavor, you become an exemplar to others. Like an ambassador, you represent your occupation, your vocation, company, church, school, or civic group, even your family in how you look and how you act. You are an example and representative for them. What do you tell the world about yourself in how you look and act? What do you tell the world about your vocation, your employer, your family? It is a great deception to believe we can be anything we like, look any way we like, act any way we like, and still be respected and looked up to. So, the place to begin on being all you can be is to work on yourself. Make of yourself the best self you can be. Don’t wait for someone to encourage you to be your best. Encourage yourself. Getting in touch with your true self must be your first priority. “Change is your friend not your foe; change is a brilliant opportunity to grow” [Simon T. Bailey] …”Recognizing that you are not where you want to be is a starting point to begin changing your life.” [Deborah Day]…”Every morning, we get a chance to be different. A chance to change. A chance to be better.” [Alan Bonner]

The beginning to a better and more productive and happier life starts with you. So encourage yourself… and as you do so, reach out and begin to encourage others. We carry an erroneous idea of what being an encourager means. We think it means to tell someone they are sweet, good, and perfect just the way they are. We think an encourager is a sympathizer, a person who agrees with, understands, and supports our own sentiments or opinions.  Wrong.  An encourager is a person who inspires, uplifts, and motivates others to gain confidence and pursue their goals. The sympathizer is there with you in the mud, but an encourager throws you a rope to enable you to get out. An encourager recognizes your value and individuality but encourages you to be more. They see your potential. They see all you can be and do and they encourage you, as few do, to step forward, to dream bigger, to overcome obstacles in your path, to find and reach your full potential. Rather than discouraging you and telling you all you can’t be and all the obstacles in your path, all the difficulties in changing yourself and your direction, they encourage you to change and to always reach deeper and higher.

We each have a God-given potential and, sadly, most of us live far below our best level. An encourager reminds you of who you can be, what you can accomplish. They urge you, not to settle into the norm, but to rise to your best.  We often like the sympathizers better than the encouragers. We need and yearn for sympathy and empathy when life is hard, when we experience pain, sadness, or disappointment. However, we need encouragers, too, to tell us life can be better, that we can take steps to create a better future, to boost our self-esteem and inspire us to rise above our problems or our apathy, to be more and to do more.

As summer draws to a close with August moving in and September soon to come, think about your life… how you’re loving yourself and loving the world. Back to school time is a good time to think about what you’re doing with your life. Where are you going? Are you growing and changing for the better every day, ever learning? Look at yourself in the mirror. Do you look like how you want to look? How does your soul feel? Is your heart happy? Are you giving to the world in a way that makes a difference? You have one life, one precious life to live. Don’t waste time looking back on what you have lost. Life is not meant to be travelled backwards. The life you have now, today, is the reality. You may not be able to control the direction of the wind or many things about the world, but you can adjust your sails. You have so much more power and choice than you know. “In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die.” [Eleanor Roosevelt] Make yourself and your life beautiful.

That old song “You can’t be a beacon if your light don’t shine” has a spiritual note, too. As a person of faith, who walks close to God, I can assure you that God wants you to shine strong, sweet, true, and good in this dark world. He will help you, too, if you begin to reach out and ask for His help. But He won’t do it for you. He won’t fix it for you. “Faith without works is dead” [James 2:14] and God expects your full effort and cooperation in the process of making you all you should be and could be in this one precious life you have. God will help you to become your best self. He created us and knows the best way and plan for our lives, so He will naturally strengthen, encourage, and help you in the journey to be all you can be in life. God will intervene and renew and help even in situations that seem desolate and too hard to us. From Genesis on in the Bible, God said “Is anything too hard for the Lord?” [Genesis 18:14], reminding us that God’s help can be a great asset in becoming our best in this life, in encouraging ourselves in a dark world, in encouraging others, and in being a light and exemplar in our world.

The times may be a changin’, the times may be dark, but you can always change yourself for the best if you will, you can always learn, grow, and seek to know more, you can always encourage yourself and encourage others, too. It’s never too late for good change, to envision and build dreams and goals and to work for them, to live a good and satisfying life. The idea that it’s too late will always be a mental barrier and be assured that others will try to tell you of all the reasons your dreams and goals won’t succeed. Don’t listen. Don’t dwell on missed opportunities or problems of the past. Take courage, Take action. Let this coming year be your year for change. You can do it. You are not here in this life to be mediocre. …Believe in yourself and you’re halfway there. …”If we did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.” [Thomas Edison]… And remember, what you have to give, the world needs….”Don’t let anyone dim your light. You were born to shine” [Kirsten Ferguson].

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Note: All photos my own, from royalty free sites, or used only as a part of my author repurposed storyboards shown only for educational and illustrative purposes, acc to the Fair Use Copyright law, Section 107 of the Copyright Act.